One misconception that clearly works against victims of rape is the popularly held theory that stranger rape is most pervasive. To take it a step further, the fact that people think that rape is somehow more traumatic, devastating and believable in the case of stranger rape contributes to a series of ongoing difficulties when victims do chose to report the crime. Add to which, the average citizen thinks of rapists as crazy, raving, lunatics dressed in black, ready to pounce on unsuspecting victims. It doesn't occur to our populace that rapists are everyday joes, our sons, brothers, husbands, fathers and friends. This too causes a complex misunderstanding of rape.
In a study conducted by researcher Diana Russell it was shown that 88% of victims knew their attackers. (Warshaw, 1988) This information should immediately remove the picture of the stranger hiding in the alley. The stark reality is that this crime is often committed by "regular guys," men that are known to their victims, using the lethal weapon of trust, and adding another layer of complexity to the equation. Yet society still rejects the information presented in the study referenced above (and the many others like it) and rests on the laurels of traditional patriarchal thinking to inform them.
Below is a list of three rape myths and realities found in the book I Never Called It Rape, this list is critical to understanding how people view rape as it is contrasted with the reality of rape:
Myth 1
Rape is committed by crazed strangers.
Reality 1
Most women are raped by "normal" acquaintances.
Myth 2
A woman who gets raped deserves it, especially if she agreed to go to the man's house or ride in his car.
Reality 2
No one, male or female, deserves to be raped. Being in a man's house or car does not mean a woman has agreed to have sex with him.
Myth 3
Agreeing to kiss or neck or pet with a man means that a woman has agreed to have intercourse with him.
Reality 3
Everyone has the right to say "no" to sexual activity, regardless of what preceded it, and to have that no respected.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
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2 comments:
Thanks for writing this article and for this blog. More of us need to speak up and break the silence so that the hurt stops. You might want to check out my articles on breaking the silence of incest at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com
Thank you for posting this. Maybe if enough of us keep saying this stuff over and over, it will finally start to sink in.
It boils my blood to this very day when I hear idiots repeating the myths {and others} listed in this post.
They all think that is how it is, until it happens to them or someone they love.
I wish we {society} could get to a point where it didnt have to be a personal experience, in order for Rape to matter, or to be addressed.
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