The memories of rejection and pain
still lurk around the perimeter of our relationship-
now mostly platonic and cordial.
My silence and apathy
are remnants of hurt and self-loathing.
I hated myself for the stupidity
I masked as vulnerability.
I swore never to fall as deeply
and blindly as I did back then.
So here we are 12 years later
me muted and distant
but aware the feelings haven't all gone.
They've dissipated some
but not disappeared.
We're parents after all
and are bound by a pair of X and Y Chromosomes
growing fast and furious in front of our eyes.
As I look at him,
looking at us,
I wonder how much we owe him
especially if love remains
even in the recesses of our hearts.
but only a fool gets burned twice.
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